Wednesday, April 11, 2018
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Top funny Jokes in hindi
Girlfriend
and Boyfriend are always part of comedy, so here are some jokes on boyfriend
girlfriend.
Girlfriend:
setting password for her laptop with
boyfriend
sitting beside her…
She
types “BRAIN” as
password.
Boyfriend:Fell
down of his chair , laughing
Because
laptop replied:“TOO SMALL”.
????:-
??? ???????? ??? ?? ?? ?? ???? ???…
??? ???
??? ???? ???…
?????:-
?? ?? ????..
???? ???
???? ??? ????? ? ???? ??…
..
????:-
???? ?? ???? ???? ??? ???…
Why
girls live longer than boys????
Scientific
studies have proved that
“SHOPPING”
never causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
.
“PAYING the “BILLS” does ??
Teacher:
Tell the name of Any Microsoft Product?
Sam: MS
Excel
John:MS
Word
Matt:MS
PowerPoint
Santa:After
Thinking a lot
……..
“MS
Dhoni”.
Husband
Wife jokes in Hindi
It’s
very normal that people crack lots of jokes on Husband wife.
Husband
asked”Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?”
Wife:”Dikhta
nahin, bakri hy!”
Husband:”Bakri
se hi poch raha hon”
Height
of Facebook update
A newly
born baby’s status
“Thanks
God! Got delivered successfully.”
At-
Apollo hospital, jaipur. With
Suresh,
Ramesh, Sonu, Moni and my girl friend Sonam.
When
Arryabhatta checked my papers,
………………
May be
he invented Zero.
Teacher:
Homework Kyun nahi Kiya?
Student:
Sir, Light nahi Thi
Teacher:
To MomBatti Jala
Lete …
Student:
Sir, Maachis nahi Thi
Teacher:
Machis Kyun nahi thi
Student:
Pooja ghar me rakhi thi.
Teacher:
To Wahan Se Le Aate
Student:
Nahaya Hua nahitha
Teacher:
Nahaye Kyun nahi thi.
Student:
Pani Nahi Tha Sir.
Teacher:
Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?
Student:
Sir Motor Nahi Chal Rahi Thi.
Teacher:
Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi
Thi ?
Student:
Sir Bataya to ttha Light nahi thi
Girlfriend:
I Am Going To Marry
Someone
Else, Forget Me
Forever
!!
Boyfriend:
Naa Tere Aane Ki Khushi,na
Tere
Jaane Ka Gam,
Jaao
Bahen Jao Jee Lo Apni Zindagi,
Doosri
Pata Leinge Hum
1.bhai
behen bichadne ka kya hua anjaam ??
Dnt say
wah wah Plz feel the pain ... (o_O )
bhai
behen bichadne ka kya hua anjam ??
MUNNA
bana MBBS aur MUNNI hui badnaam..
2.An old
Indian women slips on ice
an
falls..
She
cries.. "Hai meri kismat"..
A gora
walks past and says..
"Hi
merry christmas to u Too".X_X
3.
Sardar picnic par gaye whan ja kar yaad aaya ke pepsi to ghar bhul gaye.
Decide
kia ke sab se chhota sardar ja kar Pepsi le aaye,
Sardar:
Main is shart par jata hu ke tum mere ane tak smose nahi khaoge.
Dono ne
kaha thik hai.
1 din
guzar gaya sardar nahi aaya.
2 din
guzar gaye.
Dono ne
socha ke ab samose kha lene chahiye.
Jaise hi
smosa uthaya chota sardar ped ke peechhe se nikal k bola. "AISE KAROGE TO
MAIN NAHI JAAUNGA"
4.
Pappu’s Atittude In Exams.
They
Give Me Questions Which I Don’t Know.
So………………
I Give
Them Answers Which They Don’t Know.
Why???
“Tit For
Tat“
5.
Santa: Yaar answer sheet par sabse pehle kya likhu?
Banta:
Yehi ki is answer sheet par likhe gaye sabhi answers kalpnik hain jinka kisi
bhi book se koi smbandh nahi hai.
6.
Teacher : Google is a girl or a boy..?
..
..
..
Student:
Google is a Girl.....because it won't let you complete
the
whole sentence and start guessing, suggesting.....and
you ask
only one question.....
but get
hundreds of irrelevant answers in seconds...
7. A
muslim girl wearing a burka was going on the road.
The boy
going just behind the girl said,"Rafta Rafta dekho aankh jisse ladhi
hain."
Girl
Replied,"Aankh Jisse ladhi, tere baap se bhi badhi hain
8.
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog!
Banta:
Oh! That’s terrible.
Santa:
Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions.
9. A boy
said
I Love U
to a girl
Bt
Girl
replied
Sorry i
lv someone else
The boy
in sad mood looked
at d
girl & said
"Batau
tere baap ko?" ;-) :D
11.
Saari Raat guzar jaati hai bas isi Kashmakash me ki
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ye saali
rajaai me hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai... :
12. Old
Generation:
"Neki
kar, Dariya mein daal"
.
.
.
New
Generation:
"Kuch
bhi kar, Facebook pe daal"
13. year
old boy:
i love
you mom!
mom:
awwww..
i love u
too Son!
...
16 year
old boy:
i love u
mom!
mom:
sorry,
i have
no money :D
14. Why
girls live longer than boys????
.
.
.
.
.
.
Scientific
studies have proved that
.
.
.
"SHOPPING"
never
causes HEART ATTACKS, but,
.
.
"PAYING
the "BILLS" does :):D
15.
Girlfriend setting password
for her
laptop with
boyfriend
sitting beside
her…
She
types “BRAIN” as
password.
Boyfriend
fell down of his
chair ,
laughing
Bcoz
Laptop
replied:“TOO SMALL
16.
Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match.
When
Dhoni hits a boundary.
Banta:
Kya Goal mara.
Santa:
Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai
17. Gl-
can i sit here?
Boy- it
all urs...:)
Gl- can
i tk some water?
Boy- my
plsr...:)
...
Gl-
Bhaiya agla station konsa hai?
.
Boy-
mere baap ne mere dimag me koi GPS fit nhi kiya hai ,jaldi seat khali ker mujhe
neend a rahi hai ......... :P :P :P :D :/
18. Two
terrorists having discussion in a bar.
The
waiter asks them what the discussion was about?
Terrorist
:- We are planning to kill 14 thousand people and a donkey..
Waiter
:- Why a donkey?
Then one
terrorist says to the other,
"See
I told you nobody will care about the 14 thousand people".
19.
Gabbar: Kitne admi they?
Sambha:
Sardar 2
Gabbar:
Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
Samba:
Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai
Gabbar:
Aur 2 se pehle?
Samba: 2
se pehle 1 aata hai.
Gabbar:
To beech mein kaun ata hai?
Samba:
Beech mein koi nahi aata
Gabbar::
To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?
Samba: 1
k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se bada hai.
Gabar:
2, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samba:
2, 1 se 1 bada hai.
Gabbar:
Agar 2, 1 se 1 bada hai to 1, 1 se kitna bada hai?
Samnba:
Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do :-D :-P :-)
20.
Husband Biwi Se:
Pani
Pila Do ...
Biwi :-
Kya! ,Pyaas Lagi Hai ??
..
... ..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Husband
(Gussey se):
"Nahi"Gala
Check Karna Hai
Kahin
se"LEAK"to Nahi Hai =P xD
21.
Height of Facebook update :
A newly
born baby's status
"Thanks
God!
...
Got
delivered successfully."
At-
Apollo hospital, Bangalore.
With
Suresh,
Ramesh, Sonu, Moni and my girl friend Sonam. O.o
22. When
aryabhatta checked my papers,
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
he
invented zero:-P
23.
Maine 1 Ladki se puchha:
Tum
facebook use karti ho ??
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
Ladki:
Nahi, Main Facewash use krti
hoon :D
:P
24. Ye
baat sun kar Mere haathon se Gol Gappa hi
gir gya
.
.
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
jab gol
gappe wala bola
"Please
give your feedback on Our Facebook
Page"
:-P
25.
Teacher: Beta batao Parle G kepacket pe jo Green dot banahai uska matlab kya
hai?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha-'mam
iska matlab Parle G online baithe hain..
26. Bird
asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?
Bee-no,coz
they can never steal my art of making honey.
Moral:
...
Insaan kya.....
kutta,
billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p
27. Bird
asked a bee, u work so hard 2 get honey n people steal. dont u feel sad?
Bee-no,coz
they can never steal my art of making honey.
Moral:
...
Insaan kya.....
kutta,
billi, makkhi, jisko dekho wo aajkal philosphy jhaad raha hai....:D :P :p
28. A
child prayed to god for a cycle
he didnt
get.......:(
next he
goes to mandir n stole's ganesh ji's statue
N wrote
a letter to shivji agar bacha chahye toh mandir k peeche cycle le k ajao....
29.
Santa to banta: Yaar koi aisa valentine gift bataa jo seedha teri bhabi ke dil
per lage,
.
... .
.
.
.
.
.
.
Banta:
Goli maar de :D
30.
Girlfriend: I Am Going To Marry
Someone
Else, Forget Me
Forever
!!
Funny
Boyfriend:
.
.
.
.
.
Naa Tere
Aane Ki Khushi,
Na
Tere
Jaane Ka Gam,
Jaao
Bahen Jao Jee Lo Apni Zindagi,
Doosri
Pata Leinge Hum
31.
Teacher: ‘3 idiots’ film dehknay ke baad aap ko kya lesson mila? Pap
pu: miss
yehi ki..Enginering padh kar bhi medical ki ladki fasai ja sak
ti hai
:D . .
Miss:
shut up & get out.
Babloo:
miss mein bataon..?
Miss:
very good, batao..
Babloo:
miss college ke 1st day Underwear zaroor pehna chahiye :D . .
.
Miss: u
also get out.
Shamu:
miss mein bataon..?
Miss: i
think u are a brilliant student.. tum sahi batao gay.. .
Shamu
:miss doctor ke elawa Engineer bhi delivery kar sakta hai. :- D:-
D Miss:
u also get out. . GUDU: Miss mein bataon. Miss: HAAN BATAO... . GUDU: FRENCH
KISS MEIN NAAK BEECH MEIN NAHI AATI. ;-) Students Rock!
31.
Teacher: Homework Kyun
Nahi
Kiya?
Student:
Sir, Light
Nahi Thi
Teacher:
To MomBatti Jala
Lete ...
Student: Sir, Maachis
Nahi Thi
Teacher:
Machis Kyun Nahi
Thi
Student:
Pooja Ghar Me
Rakhi
Thi. Teacher: To Wahan Se Le
Aate
Student:
Nahaya Hua Nahi
Tha
Teacher:
Nahaye Kyun Nahi
Thi.
Student: Pani Nahi Tha
Sir.
Teacher:
Pani Kyu Nahi Tha?
Student:
Sir Motor Nahi Chal
Rahi
Thi.
Teacher:
Ullu Ke Pathe Motor Kyun Nahi Chal Rahi
Thi ?
Student:
Sir Bataya
To Ttha
Light Nahi Thi :
32.
Angrez darwaza kholne ko hindi me kaise kahega...
.
.
.
U dnt
kw......?
... ...
.
.
.Mai
batata hu......
Wo
kahega "THERE WAS A COLD DAY."
Say ten
times khud samajh aa jayega
33. Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb:
Kal aana.
Bhikhari:
Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye
hain.
34.
Pintu Pappu Ki Wedding Main: Are pappu Ye Bhabhi Gumsum Kyun Hai, Koi Muskaan
Nahi Hai, Koi Tenshion Hai Kya??
Funny
Pappu: Haan Yaar Isne Iske Baap Se Lipistick Laane Ke Liye Kaha Tha, saale
Ganje Ne
Fevistick
Laakar Pakda Di
35.
Santa-Banta Style of Cheating ;)
..
Santa-Banta
cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se
peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha?
Santa:Sir
is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
Teachr:
to tum
ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai
Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na
"TOKYO":D
Geo
CheaterZ!:-P
36.
Amazing facts bout CID :
1) Daya
has d world record 4
breaking
the mst no. Of doors
2) C.I.D
bureau has 1 tata sumo
since 13
yrs
3) In
the entire 20 storey cid
building
only 6 people work
4) There
is no police in
mumbai,C.I.D
handles every case
5)
Accused person acepts his
crime
only aftr gting a slap on
face
from Daya
6) None
of the C.I.D officers got
Married
7)
People remember the person
they saw
once n give exact sketch
8) None
of the officers ever got
promotion
nt even A.C.P
9)
Salunke just pres ctrl n alt n
gets
finger prints testd
10) End
of episode all criminals
get
faasi :D:D
37.
Santa Rocks :) like kar le na ;)
Santa
called FM radio &
said:-
I’ve
found a purse with
Rs.15000/-
a credit card &
... ...
an ID card of Mr.Ram new
road,
Kathmandu.
Radio
Jockey: How honest
so you
want to return his
purse?
Santa:
no.. I just wanted to
dedicate
a sad song for
him...!
:D
38.
Teacher:What is half of 8??
Rajnikant:
4
...
Santa:
Depend
karta hai agar horizontally aadha karo to '0'
Aur
vertically kaato toh '3'.
Santa
rocked.
Rajnikant
shocked\=D/
39.
*Extraordinarily Khatarnak Student*
Teacher:
"Do you know Avogadro's Number"?
Student:
"Avogadro Ladka Tha Ya Ladki"?
Teacher:
"Ladka"
Student:
"Sorry Dude, Mai Ladko Ke Number Nahi Rakhta" ;) :p
40.
(kavi ka Beta School Mein =P)
Teacher
: What Is N0un??
Student
: Arz Karta Hoon...
...
kutta
Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Wah
Wah...
Kutta
Bhi Hota Hai Apni Gali Mein King...
Noun Is
A Name Of Any Person Place Or Thing!! =p
41.
Santa Rockss ;-) ;-D
Madam:Agr
Koi School Ke Samne Bomb Rakh Deta Hai To Kya Karoge?
Santa:1-2
min Dekhenge
.
Agr Koi
Le Jata Hai To Theek Hai,Wrna Staff Room Main Rakh Denge!:
42.
Santa Rocks ;-)
Teacher:
Tell the
name of Any Microsoft Product?
Sam:
MS Excel
John:
MS Word
Matt:
MS
PowerPoint
Santa:
After
Thinking a lot:
.
.
.
.
.
“MS
Dhoni”
43. The
Best Prank Call Ever:
"Hello
KFC?"
- "
Yes, How can I help you sir?"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
" I
want MACDONALD'S number!!! :-P:-D
44.
Techr-Itni Late Kyu Aye.
Kid-Mummy
Papa Me Ladai Ho Gai
Techr-To
Late Kyu HuaKid-Mera 1 Juta Mom Ke Hath Me Aur 2sra Papa K Hath Me tha...
42. Texi
Wala-Sir Sorry
Mai
Meter Chalu Karna Bhul Gaya
Tha. . !
Ab Kitna
Bhada Lu. ?
Santa-
Oye Praji Koi Gal Nhi
Maii B
Apna Batva Bhul Gaya
Hu. . :D
:P
43.
Santa sarab pite pite ro pada..
Banta::
kyun ro rahe ho
.
.
.
.
.
.
Santa::
jise bhulane ke liye pee raha tha uska naam nahi yaad aa raha hai..lol..
44.
Ladka Exam Hall me
pareshan
tha
Sir:Kya
hua?
Qustn
papr
mushkil
he?
Boy:
Nahi
sir,
main to
soch raha hu is qustn ka
ans
kis jeb
me hai?
45.
Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.
..
Teacher-GADHE
ye kya kia.!!!
..
..
Santa.-Sir,
apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo...
46.
Santa jab court se case jeet k aaya to usne wakeel ko bas 1o rupee diye.....
.
.wakeel
(Lawyer) gussa ho ke bola-"YE MERE CHAPRASI K LIYE HE KI MERE NAUKAR K
LIYE....?????"
.
.
.
.
.....Santa
bola-"YE TUM TEENO KE LIYE HAI...
47. Ek
train accident me 100 sardar mar gaye 1 bach gaya !
Reportar
ne usse pucha : ye sab kaise hua?
Sardar :
jaise hi anouncement hua ki shatabdi express platform no. 2 par aa rahi hai sab
platform se utarkar apni jaan bachane patri par aa gaye, lekin train patri par
aa gayi aur sab mar gaye,
Reportar
: yani aap samajdar sardar nikle jo patri par nahi utare.
Sardar :
ji nahi me to suicide karne aya tha anouncement sunkar patri se hatkar platform
par let gaya tha.
48.
Masoom Dhamki
Ek Chor
Chori Kar Ke Ghar Se Jaa Raha Tha.....Ki Bache Ki Aankh Khul Gai........
Bacha :
Mera School Bag Bhi Le Ja Varna Shor Macha Dunga......:-P :-D
49.
Santa was lying on beach,
American:
R u Relaxing?
Santa:No
I m Santa Singh,
Another
Amrican: R u relaxing?
Santa:
No I m Santa Singh
Another
American: R u relaxing?
Santa:
No (Shouting)
I m
santa Singh >:O
Santa
left that
place in
anger.
Then
Santa asks one American
lying
nearby,
R u
relaxing?
American:
Yes.
Santa
slaps him & says,
Kutte
sab tujhe dhund rhe
he aur
tu yha
pada
hai. :D
:D
50. Why does Bappi Lahiri never cry?
Jab ghar
mein pada ho sona, phir kahe ka rona..
=))
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